Our Storybook Love

To My Derek…

When we wrote our vows together so many years ago in our first apartment, we were excited for the future and what laid ahead. We made plans of buying a house together, sharing our career successes, and one day maybe create a family of our own. It was in these conversations, of our goals, our passion for life, and what it had to offer, we wrote our promises. We wrote out our story together and we united ourselves in the love we had for one another.

We stood before family and friends that December evening. You in your handsome tuxedo, and myself in a gown far grand then I could ever imagine. Our winter wonderland wedding was magical with the freshly fallen snow. Each snowflake descended slowly as if each held the promises of our love on the path while we walked together. We gathered before family and friends. The stockings were hung, the fire was lit, and we read our promises to one another. We vowed to love one another, to be there for each other, even through the trials and tribulations that life sometimes can throw upon us. And until death do us part… with our signatures binding our promise, we became our storybook love. 

We did have our trials and tribulations as a married couple, as any couple would have over the years. We made mistakes, however, we stood together as we continued to promise to be there for one another. With each chapter that unfolded, we continued to love one another. We never gave up on what we had and we continue to build from that promise we made at the alter.

And now, 8 years later, we were faced with an unexpected twist of fate. Just shy of our wedding anniversary life took a turn for the worse. The shocking reality that we wouldn’t live happily ever after. I witnessed the dark angel coming in and with my hand, I passed you over to him. Our time on this plane was done, our storybook love came to an abrupt ending, and it was your time to go. Promises were made, and yet I never felt they were broken in this experience of losing you so quickly. 

What that angel left for me was the darkest chapter left untouched, unread, and unknowing sorrow. Scared and alone, I now face the world on my own. Yet it is here, in this darkness, I have found a grace that has come to lead me in the dimmest of times. I surrender to this deep feeling within my soul and in trusting this I have found you on the other side. You are with me from the Divine! You show me the love and light from the universe. You promised me you would never leave me and you continue to guide me along my path. I trust, and I build on those pomises made.  

I have discovered new depths of love in which I never knew existed. To love someone so much to know when it is the best time to go. To trust the love you have for yourself, and to follow your path despite how dim it may be, love and grace will be there waiting for you. We will forever be part of each others journey. You gave me so much in life, and even more so in your death. I continue to promise to trust you and listen to your words of wisdom. I see you in my dreams late at night. I feel your wings around me when I need strength. I promise to live a life of love knowing that you have shown me the divine of the universe. And I promise to love again and to bring this love wherever my journey will lead. As I lay you in your final resting place… 

And as I walk into the cemetery with you in my arms. Your wooden earn ready to be placed into the ground. I walk as if I’m walking down a different isle again, surrounded by family and a few close friends.  I only spoke a few words today, as I took the shovel and started digging into the dirt. I gently place you into the ground and know that in the vows I wrote for you only 8 years prior, we will never be a part.

I realize now that it is until death do us NOT part!